CIO: “No, thanks. I’ve already had my own technical performance audit done. I don’t need you to tell me anything about my own network infrastructure.”
Hunter: “That’s no problem. We understand! Of course, we’re a general services IT consultancy and can help out with any IT issues you might be facing: firewalls, inside plant, outside plant, wireless kit, fibre optics …”
CIO: “Oh, really? Okay … Hunter, was it? … I could do with getting some new inside plant Ethernet drops installed. What’s your rate for 10 Gbps PoE runs?”
Hunter: “Oh, yes! We totally do that! Let’s get all your new customer information captured here and we’ll have our firewall expert come by to get you a quote this afternoon!”
CIO, blinking: “I already told you: I don’t need or want any firewall products or services. What I want is some industry standard work. What’s your standard per-drop rate for LAN runs?”
Chad: “Oh, this is no problem at all. Our firewall expert is an expert in everything related to technology. Let’s select a time for her to inspect your infrastructure this afternoon. We’ll get you an estimate for a new firewall and some LAN drops …”
CIO: “What? I just told you that I don’t want or need a quote for a new firewall. If you want my business, quote me what it’ll cost to do what I said I need done.”
Chad: “We understand, it’s just that every quote we prepare automatically includes a replacement firewall, so …”
CIO: “Even if I don’t want one and absolutely won’t buy one? That seems peculiar. Are you sure you provide services beyond just selling ‘firewall replacements’ to random companies?”
Hunter: “Well … er … our job …” [gestures to Chad] “is to help customers like you get the best deal possible for a top-notch firewall. We personally don’t work the other parts of the business.”
CIO: “Soooooo … you two only sell one product during unsolicited, blind sales calls? That seems … inefficient. Do you have an inside plant cable installer salesperson I can speak with instead?”
Chad: “Of course we do! Let me take down all your Personally Identifiable Information including your birthdate, your Social Security number, the name of your first pet, and your corporate credit card number so we can set up that visit …”
CIO: “Why do you need all that? You have my company name and clearly know where to find my office. Just call your person and bring them here.”
Chad, soothingly: “It’s just a formality. We’re required to have all that info to set up a visit.”
CIO: “No. You. Don’t.”
Chad: “Sure, sure. Is there a CFO here, by chance?”
CIO, incredulous: “You’re asking me if my company has a Chief Financial Officer? What does that have to do with anything related to quoting me some cable work?”
